Monday, 30 January 2012

My faraway friend

After a stressful end to 2011 we are now at the end of January  2012 and Christmas seems like a lifetime ago.  Its snowing here today although as it has rained its not staying.  I like the idea of snow but when its actually here it casues so much inconveience I just want it to leave again!
I found something out recently that really put my life in to perspective.  I have a friend who doesn't live near by and infact I haven't seen since they finished school in 1999!  I grew up with this friend and her family and the memories I have are amazing.  Being young, care free and sharing adventures.  Many friendships dwindle as you get older but this is someone that I often thought of.  This friend is having a hard time at the moment and seems to be pretty low emotionally.  I won't deny that I shed a tear when I found out.  Its scary how someone that I thought of as so strong could feel so low.  Whilst growing up this friend was a true fighter and never let people or in fact anything get in the way of what she wanted.  Someone that people looked up to and admired her determination to succeed and prove any doubters wrong.  I have no doubt that this person is still a fighter and immensely determined but its devastating to think that this person can feel so sad.  I've read comments on Facebook that friends have written in support and it makes you realise how lucky I am.  However low I feel and however bad things seem I have the most amazing family and friends around me,  Sometimes it doesn't feel like it but I know that they are always looking out for me.  I hope that my faraway friend realises how much we love and care for her.  Even though we are miles away I hope that she feels close.  Life can be pretty tough sometimes but I think I have got off lightly compared to how this person is feeling right now.  Lets hope things improve for her.  These things take time and often involves lots of steps forwards and backwards before you reach the place you want to be.

Thursday, 17 November 2011

Trying to be positive - but failing

Why is it the people close to you are the ones that seem to let you down when you least expect it?  I went out of my way to organise something for a family member who had been having a rough time of it - yet two days before it was due to happen they cancel on me to do something with someone else?  I was cross and angry - so many questions about why agree to something and say you will do it but as soon as a better offer comes along turn your back?  Do people's feelings not matter anymore?  Of course nothing can be said as they are family so instead I have to spend my time pretending everything is OK and that I am not bothered by being dropped in favour of someone else.  I think the moral of the story is to be selfish and not try to do nice things for other people any more!  I feel sad that I feel like that but as I'm not allowed to be angry about it what else can I do?  This happened of an evening and I have found that it has affected me the following day just as much.  When someone told me something at work I found myself annoyed as I had already found out via the rumour mill.  Again the one person I thought in a work environment wouldn't let me down but they have and now I just keep waiting for the next person to let me down.I have to put up with a change that I don't agree with.  Everyone is acting like it will be very positive but I know full well that a month or so down the road it will go back to how it has always been?  So do I again have to suffer in silence - why should I?  I have to go to work every day and suffer due to someone else's error yet I am not allowed an opinion on it!  Grrrrrrrr!  I think the answer to the work situation is to keep my head down and grin and bear it - wait for it all to go tits up and then try and act surprised! Whilst at the same time seriously looking for a new job.
I promised myself that I wouldn't use my blog to vent my anger but in modern society social media is so public that you can never put a comment of Facebook without someone making an issue of it or reading something in to it that isn't there.
On a more positive note its nearly holiday time again.  A week of peace and quiet in the forest sounds bliss at the moment!  Again I have managed to find a negative in that my Dad will be in hospital and I feel that I am letting him down by not being there to bring him home.  Instead he either has to sit in a discharge lounge and wait for someone to pick him up or we have to ask someone who he doesn't really want to pick him up!  On the plus side he will be much better once the operation is done and can do all the things he wants to do instead of being limited.  If only everything could be solved by a surgeons knife!
I have recently had the chance to sit and chat (over a lovely lunch) with someone I have always wanted to get to know better.  I have "known" this person for a few years but haven't ever really had the chance to get to know them and I have to say I am glad that I did.  What a kind and caring person.  If only there were more people in the world like them.
Well as its not long until Christmas I best get on with some online shopping - hopefully this will help me shift the negative mood that is hanging over me at the moment.

Tuesday, 25 October 2011

Enter with caution

I noticed recently that one of my friends from work was writing a blog and decided that it sounded like quite a good idea so here I am.  I'm not really sure I will have anything interesting to say but only time will tell.
Yesterday was a typical evil Monday at work.  I had loads to do and as the day went on none of it seemed to disappear.
This time of year seems really busy for me at the moment.  I was looking at the weekends only to discover that my next free Saturday is 10th December!  At least it will make time go quickly before Christmas.  This weekend we are heading off to London to see Noel Gallagher at the Hammersmith Apollo.  My husband is getting more and more excited as the days go on.  We counted the other day that he has seen Oasis play live on 17 occasions!
As the weather gets colder it makes me think of two things - Carnival and Christmas.  Carnival takes over my working life for a week each November.  It's a very stressful time but I love it as well.  Since I have been doing my job (4 years in November) I have built up some good relationships with the people involved in Carnival and it no longer feels like a night of work.
Then come Christmas - I am already getting excited about Christmas.  I love spending time with and catching up with all the family.  This year we are spending Christmas day with my brother and sister-in-law, their two girls and my in-laws.  Having the two young girls around will be amazing.  Although I'm not sure who will be harder work on the day - the girls or my 30 year old husband!
Well The only other thing I can think about at the moment is my next holiday - only 5 weeks to go and then my husband and I are off to Centre Parcs in Suffolk for a week.  We have been several times before but never just the two of us.  I think it will be strange although good fun.  We don't usually have two holidays in a year (most years we don't have one) but this year we have saved hard and are rewarding ourselves.  What is the point of working hard if you don't reap the rewards every so often!  Next year it will be back to a shared holiday with one of the sets of parents!